I was sick! So very very sick!
I went to the hospital! I had TESTS!
And I lost a bunch of weight. Whoa, Nelly. If you'd told me at the beginning of October that I'd be at my goal weight by the end of the month, I'd have said "That sounds unlikely". Except with swearing in it, because that's how I roll in real life. BUT I AM, thanks to it HURTING TO EAT. (this is being dealt with and I'm able to eat now, albeit only horrible, horrible foods. So that's kind of a win-lose.)
They think I have an ulcer, which I always thought happened to stressed-out business-types. Apparently, however, my life is too high stress for me and this fills me with fear, since my life is pretty low-stress. I mean, I don't WORK. All of my kids are in SCHOOL - and thank GOODNESS for that, because I spent the past three weeks pretty much totally out of commission - and so I don't know what's filling me with The Stress - is it the pressures of reading ALL OF THE INTERNET? Is it the napping?
So help me waste away my convalescence - tell me something funny/cheery/mildly amusing to help me in my malingering and help me while away the dull, couch-filled hours. xo
32 comments:
Here's something mildly amusing:
The kids' school had a family Halloween dance on Friday. There was a DJ from a local radio station. He decided an appropriate song to play for those K-6's was Love the Way You Lie. At first I was like, gee, I sure hope this is the censored version. Then I thought, who cares about the F-bomb? This song is all about domestic violence! I was kind of grossed out by his choice of music, but then he played YMCA so all was well in the world.
Feel better. xo
I thought ulcers were caused by a bacteria. Like that scientist guy DRANK the bacteria and his before un-ulcerated stomach developed ulcers. And he won a Nobel Prize? Maybe?
I could be making it up, but I swear I heard that before.
Mildly interesting: Halloween is over and I want to put up the Christmas Tree. Funny how I used to get that feeling after THANKSGIVING. Oh, Commercialism. What have you done to me?
Get well soon!
Glad you're doing okay now. I've wondered where you were and have totally missed your Halloween stories this year! I even wrote one myself to assuage the pain.
A Halloween Tale of Terror
How are your kids doing with regular school? Will you go back to home schooling when you recover?
And finally...here's a little something that might amuse you.
Happy Halloween by the Blanks
Rest up and get well!
=)
You are asking for us to be amusing??? Oh Lord! The pressure!!!!
I'm sorry, I just can't be amusing on command.
I think you should just take another nap. That's what I would do. ;)
Hope you feel better soon and all is well.
Missed you! Terribly! To the point where only sentence fragments will do!
Did you catch this video while it was popular?
I have missed you and wondered where you have been because the last time I checked you were one of the people who's supposed to bring some laughter into MY life, thankyouverymuch.
As a result, I have very little amusing to share with you because I am tired and drained and am now considering tracking down some of that ulcer-creating bacteria because if taking a bit swig of that stuff will allow me to stay on the couch for a few days without (much) guilt, I'm willing to face the pain.
It's not like I'm eating much these days anyhow. Oh! Here's the amusing bit: I'm eating like crap and still am putting on weight. Feel free to laugh at me.
(((hugs)))
So sorry about your illness. Hope you are on the mend. Today at the grocery store my 6 year old (my baby) asked me if people HAVE to kiss on the lips when they get married. I said no, it's not like it's a law or anything, but most of them want to. He was relieved to know it was not mandatory.
Once upon a time. The end.
Every time I ask my kid to tell me a story, that's it.
Once upon a time. The end.
I hope you feel better.
I accidentally ate bad chicken the other day and then was in total pain for a week and convinced myself (because I read all of the internet) I had a bacteria ulcer and went to my doctor and told her as much. She said heartburn and gave me a rx for it and I rolled my eyes, sure I was right. Two days later, I was right as rain with her heartburn rx. Silly (hypochondriac) me.
I'm sorry you're actually sick as opposed to me who was just imagining most of it. My imagination knows how bad an ulcer sucks so I sympathize and hope you feel better soon!
Oh man. I hope you're feeling better!!
And, they're all in school? All done with homeschool?
Amusing, eh? This isn't all that funny, but here it is:
Scene: I got a new YA book in the mail (won from internet site! yaay!) and gave it to Ilsa at about 4:30. (book is about 400 pages)
Next morning, Ilsa brings me the book.
Ilsa: You should read it. It's a good book.
Me: You've finished it already?
Ilsa: Yes.
Me: I know you read fast. But how?
Ilsa: I may have been up later than you realized last night.
some one in my extended, but local, family spent like the last MONTH building this MASSIVE Halloween display around their house. We're talking multiple life(or death) sized ghosts, witches, etc. flying and electrically lit from wires high over the house and tress. we're talking a whole graveyard complete with headstones, zombie maniquins, TWO fog machines, seven of those expensive air powered Halloween yard blow-ups, a live costumed crew of six to host and hand out candy, families taking pictures with characters like it was a theme park, huge real food buffet inside, drinks on the house.
Now that it's all over this extravaganza, which took a month to build(& none of MY idea) must be taken down by friends & family TODAY.
I'M HOME SICK WITH IBS AND CAN'T HELP. NOT A BIT.
I find that pretty damned amusing.
Oh no! Hope you are feeling better.
I got nothing in regards to funny except that when I was in my 20s at a stressful, awful job and drank a pot of coffee a day and popped a few exedrin every evening and sometimes a whole lot of beer until 2am...I got an ulcer.
Not fun.
i am glad you are doing better. And your kids are all in school? what happened to the homeschooling?
but that is not amusing. i am not finding lots amusing these days.
although I did just learn that there is a kid in my daughter's class whose nickname is "cracker" Being that the class is all white I'm pretty sure this isn't a racist slur, but one can never be sure.
Here's something amusing -
My four year old has already started his school fund-raising career. blurg.
I'm very sorry you've been sick.
What are you reading these days to pass the time?
(WV = hatersts
"I totally hatersts when Beck is sick")
Glad you are on the mend! Oh my, amusing you say? Well I went to my first parent council meeting of the year (missed the first one) and was elected Secretary (I used to hold this position, but wanted a break and had a baby) about the same time I picked up my pen. Not really amusing for me I might add. You on other hand may chuckle.
Here I was thinking that your non-homeschooling ways had morphed you into a jet-setting blog free woman of the world. I pondered daily why I did not receive any delicious (snicker) Halloween tales of woe. I began to think horrible things of you while I drudged through my poopy diaper filled days.
I apologize for thinking you were off having fun without me.
Rest up, eat horrible foods and get better soon!
Hope you feel better soon, Beck. They thought my oldest girl had an ulcer caused by bacteria a few years ago. Maybe that's where yours came from? Take of yourself and get better. Alas I have no amusing tales.
Here is a Lucas funny for you. Sometimes I drive through the streets in our development until he falls asleep (because he will not nap anymore, even though he needs to). Well this day it wasn't working, he had slept in and just wasn't falling asleep in the van. He asked me where we were going and I said, "oh we're just going home now." He responded with, "you just driving round and round in circles?" Hahaha, he got me :)
What's with the food thing this month? I'm having some similar problems and though I have groused about wanting to lose a little weight, this isn't what I had in mind either. Geez.
Please feel better, Miss Beck.
I am SO sorry you were ill! Feel better--SOON.
No funny/amusing/interesting stories here...
oy, that hurts. glad you're getting ti taken care of. Stress isn't what you do but how your body responds. One can be in war trenches and be calm, or like us, no paid work "stress free" life and get ulcers.
As Misty said, I remember reading about it being bacterial. And immune system response.
Oh dear! Hope you get better soon. I did soooooooo miss all the Halloween stories this year!
When I was in college and taking 18 credit hours and working two part-time jobs, I had some tummy trouble that put me in the Student Health Center. I thought it was an ulcer, but my doctor (the one who examined me right after taking a SMOKE BREAK! For the love of...!) said I just needed some Zantac. Anyway, later my father called in to check on me, and I was at work, and my then-fiance (now-husband) told him of the tummy troubles and how it was probably stress. "Stress? What does SHE do?"
Don't worry, we ALL know that if it is truly an ulcer, than you did indeed EARN it. Cuz you are one wonderfully BUSY momma.
Oh Beck, I hope you are ok now! I wish I could bring you soup or something you can actually eat.
What can I tell you? Well, trick or treating was fun (do you all do that in CANADIA?) Anyway, it was Ivy's first time and she pretty much conned everyone into giving her two helpings. They'd drop it in and then she'd do this sweet little hand motion like "keep it coming" and then raise her bucket again. And almost EVERY time the people would give her more.
It was a hoot.
Steph
Wait, I knew about the yucky illness, but ... no more homeschooling? And you were the one who got me hooked on Pandia Press! I've been thinking of you doing the same lovely experiments, thousands of miles away. ;-) Is it because of the illness? And is the Boy doing OK?
I have an ulcer, too. I'm prone to them. Do you guys have a medication named Zegerid up there? When I get an ulcer, I take one of those every morning about an hour before I eat/drink (for 14 days) and by the 2-3 day the pain is much better.
If you keep getting them, you might want to get the test for H. pylori...the pesky bacteria that makes people prone to recurrent ulcers.
My two year old son made his first joke yesterday. He said, as we were walking to the kitchen, "kitch-in...kitch-out!" I hope that gives you a chuckle.
And here's my favorite joke (that I made up for my daughter at age 3) of all time: What's big and yellow and is not a firetruck?
A school bus!
Hahahahahahaha!
Enjoy! Hope you are better SOON!
Are you STILL sick today, then? Ugh, so sorry.
I think Misty's right and it's bacteria, not stress. Tell your doctor to look it up.
Also, I have a friend who's been known to say things along the lines of "I couldn't be depressed, since my life is so good," as though depression were only a result of bad circumstances. I have to say that I think it can be that way with stress--we can be very stressed even for no good reason, just because of the whole "being human" thing. (Of course, since ulcers might not be caused by stress, I may have just wasted several sentences.)
Now I will tell you my favorite joke but I will have to rewrite it to make it more politically correct, and also I will have to see if one of the words in it gets past your filters.
---
Two guys are making a lot of ruckus in a movie theater, making loud jokes about [ethnic/demographic group]. Finally a woman in front of them stands up, turns around and says, "You two are ruining the movie for everyone! And besides, I'm [ethnicity/demographic,] and I find those jokes offensive." One of the guys answers, "Of course you're [ethnicity/demographic]. You smell bad, your hair is a mess, and your left breast is hanging out of your shirt." The woman looks down, and shrieks, "Where's my baby?!!"
---
(This joke was already funny to me before I had kids--but I'm the 2nd of 9 kids that my mom had in 13 years, so . . . yeah.)
Oh sheesh! An ulcer? Ulcers and I have had a torrid, on-again, off-again relationship since middle school. You poor dear. :(
Are they thinking it could be autoimmune related? I hope not, and it's simply some pesky bacteria. I have autoimmune and thyroid issues, which leads to my amusing bit for you--my body's latest trick is alopecia! Random bald spots not amusing you say? Well, since I'd been working on a goal of being less whiny emo hag and more Pollyanna with my outlook in life, I've decided my silver lining in this is if it continues to worsen, I will be all set next Halloween to make a rockin' Riff Raff from Rocky Horror. See, pure optimism? ;D
Hehehe..my dumb, dark humor aside, I really hope you start to feel better, and are permitted to eat more tasty things, very soon! Hugs and such.
I'm sorry you were so sick but glad you are getting better. I have nothing amusing to say, however (sorry).
quit malingering!
Orange you glad I didn't say "banana"?
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