For example:
Some rainy winter Sundays when there's a little boredom, you should always carry a gun. Not to shoot yourself, but to know exactly that you're always making a choice.HAHAHAHAH. Picture me underlining this. I am seventeen. I am really, really thin. I wear mostly black turtlenecks and a lot of dark eye makeup. I am NO FUN AT ALL.
Lina Wertmuller
The flesh is weary, alas, and I've read all the books.The HECK I HAD. And also "the flesh is weary"? I was 17. My "flesh" was the OPPOSITE of "weary."
Stephane Mallarme
But when I don't smoke I scarcely feel as if I'm living. I don't feel as if I'm living unless I'm killing myself.I am so, so glad that Twitter wasn't around in 1989. I'd have had an account - no doubt with a gloomy, Edward Scissorhands-ish avatar - from which I'd do nothing but repeat depressing quotes all day. And also: I HAVE NEVER SMOKED, NOT EVEN CASUALLY. What the HECK, olden-days self?
Russell Hoban, the guy who wrote the Frances books
It used to be a good hotel, but this proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.HAHAHAH! STILL funny! World-weary cynicism now makes me roll my eyes, things that I used to think where SUPER deep now strike me as goofy - but smart-assery? Age cannot wither it nor custom stale.
Mark Twain
Today, I got to sit in our gazebo in the backyard all by myself and read a detective book in the cheerful midday while my kids all had fun elsewhere and I felt quite contented, even in the midst of a rough time. And tonight I have the cheering knowledge that I am not THAT girl anymore, that I am wry and relaxed and if not quite happy at the moment, I know that I am working my way back there. End quote.
21 comments:
i feel this way when I look at my old poetry. who was that girl?
Oh yes. I look back at my teen self and, though I wasn't a bad kid, I am forever grateful to be me where I am and not her where she was.
Love the quotes.
If I were brave I'd go pull out my old journals, but heavens, I am NOT!
Do you mean that my 19-year-old will eventually outgrew world-weary cynicism? Whew! What a relief! That is very encouraging.
P.S. My verification word is "irefried". Mexican food goes 21st century!
Did you and your friends pass notes in high school? If so, have you stumbled upon any of those within the last few years? Horrifying. And if they're anything like mine, you will eyeball your daughters warily and wish you could spare them ever having to endure being sixteen.
Glad to hear you're having a bright spot in your not so glowingly wonderful time though...I know when my depression is in full swing, I dig out old music..often times as depressing of music as possible, which shouldn't be considered a remedy, but really feels like one. I hope many more pleasant moments in the gazebo are headed your way!
Heh heh heh. Ah yes. I always feel silly when I look back and read my old high school journals. Egad! I was such a downer!
I suppose it is good for us to get these glimpses back at our younger selves so that when we have teenagers we can remember (even just a little bit) what it was like. ;)
Fun post. :)
The author of the Frances books, eh? That strikes me as really funny. Who knew being a famous children's book author was so defeating?
Oh man. We were similar people in our teen years. I spent many years wearing my black turtlenecks and tons of black eye makeup, writing DEEP and PROBING thoughts in my notebooks. Much of them, sadly, were quotations from Jim Morrison poetry. Yikes!
Teenagers crack me up. They are hysterical without meaning to be.
And that first quote? Priceless.
Lovely! This is why I don't look at my old diaries.
I recently ran across a box of poetry that I wrote around the same age of your underlinings. Lawdy, lawdy, but I was a deep child. And dark. But soooo deep.
I never went the route of world-weary but was oh-so-gooey-and-romantic. All flowers and poetry and looooooooove. I still wonder what I'm going to do with my diaries. For I would never want anyone to actually read them besides me!
Hahaha! Surly Teenage Beck grew into a lovely Adult Beck, though, don't you think?
For me everything was THE END OF THE WORLD and a lot of NOBODY UNDERSTANDS, yeah I think that about sums it up.
Glad you enjoyed a good book on a lovely afternoon.
LOVE this Beck! Yes, I can so relate to those world-weary, cynical quotes adored by myself as world-weary (and completely protected) teen!
We'll see if this posts. I am having computer issues (joys of traveling) and have left other kind, witty, profound comments on previous posts but they have not registered. You'll just have to imagine them, as I've forgotten them now.
That quote book...and your notes, made in it...is a treasure!
Thanks for sharing...
=)
It's probably a good thing I didn't journal or leave any written thing behind from my teenage years for anyone to find. Sheesh, I'd so embarrass my grown up self.
I'm not sure if I ever told you this but my cousin who is working toward a job in museum management was living in Agatha Christie's vacation home all summer, and when I think of her, I think of you reading a detective novel. :)
Also, I'm glad you're not about posting depressing quotes all the time. Thank goodness we made it out of our teenage years...but we did think we were pretty cool then, didn't we?
I recently found my quote book and it was full of Deep Thoughts About True Love which reminded me of whichever Crush du Jour I was yearning hopelessly for.
Also I found a book of my poetry, painstakingly copied, and...yeesh, it's bad. Full of tortured metaphors. I really want to destroy it, yet it's hard to do even though I'm usually not sentimental at all.
Francis Hoban said that? I kinda wish I didn't know that! I love those books and whenever I love books I always want the authors to be happy people. It helps my world make more sense to believe such things are true. :)
This is making me want to dig out my old diaries. Although that could be mega embarrassing. Even if it's just me reading about the teenager me. :_)
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