I've been sick for the past week and NO, I do not have listeria, although you may be certain that the idea occurs to me roughly every three minutes, as in "I think I should call an ambulance just in case." Then I phone my husband and he reassures me that it is JUST A COLD.
Maybe.
For one thing, I don't have any of the symptoms, unless "runny nose and mild fever" have suddenly become indicitive of a severe intestinal illness. For another, I haven't eaten ANY of the recalled products. Still. Maybe.
It is my birthday on Sunday. I will be 36. And likely still hauling around this miserable cold. I got asked the other day what grade I'm going into, and yet when I look into the mirror, I see faint lines whispering around my eyes, white hairs circling my face. Also, I have three kids and I've been married for over a decade now, and whenever there's a disease in the media, I am UTTERLY CERTAIN that I have it. Even if it only infects heavy smokers and occurs in man parts. And I say things like "man parts" now, because I have become a complete and utter prude. OH, and the other day, I yelled at some kids to GET OFF MY LAWN. Young punks.
Okay, now it's later. I wore shoes with teeny tiny little baby heels on them to the bank and I was standing in line, I teetered and went crashing over. In front of everyone. I'm just lucky I didn't break my hip.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
51 comments:
Ohhhh...get well soon won't you? Do whatever you need to do to get 'that' off!
What could be worse than being sick on your special day?! *urgghhh*
Happy Birthday!!!!
I am certainly glad we have been eating less meat around here after hearing the news!
I hope you feel better soon.
You need to start issuing warnings on your posts:
WARNING: This post may make you laugh. Do not read this post while drinking fluids as said fluids may shoot out your nose.
(I wasn't drinking anything when I read this, but I laughed hard enough at that last bit that I'm glad I wasn't!)
P.S. Feel better! That's an order.
Oh gosh... Happy birthday, too!
I turned 36 in May and this post sounds strangely like MY LIFE, except the sick part. I have escaped whatever disease is out there right now, I usually only catch pregnancy and havn't caught that in a while either..wow!
Oh, and Happy Birthday!!!
Happy (early) Birthday! And don't dwell on the lines, grey hairs, or 'ageist' outburts...they're just part of the process...where them as a badge of honor :)
Happy Birthday!
That falling off the heels trick is the reason why I only own the one pair and wear them rarely. Some of us cannot figure it out, no matter what the age.
I hope you're feeling better soon.
Oh hon, it only gets worse.
I was feeling all smug about the mysteriosa on account of being a vegetarian and then the cheese hit the fan on Quebec. Oh and, yes, there was the spinach and before that the alpha spouts and before that the cantaloupe and what's this I now hear about Mexican jalapeños?
You don't have to be old to be very, very afraid these days.
And duh! Happy birthday.
Hahahah. i loved this post. I try really hard not to get paranoid about diseases ....I use web md A LOT. :)
Oh, Beck, you make me laugh. I, too, often come down with every serious disease that I've heard about. Except then it turns out not to be just a cold, or just a viral sore throat, or something else innocuous.
Happy early birthday!
If I had been in the bank with you, I would have laughed at you very, very hard, and then helped you up. Which is not a bad philosophy of life, really.
LOL. I just had to google the symptoms of listeriosis. Happy birthday! Hope you feel better soon...
Man, it stinks to be sick on your birthday. They aren't nearly as much fun as when you turn, say 9 but still. I hope you feel better and your man parts stay healthy.
Happy Birthday. Get better fast! By your pictures I would have taken you for not a day over 21. Seriously. You take a great picture!
Watch the falling, you do not want to break a hip. ;-)
a mere 36? you're just a baby.
I took Collin to the eye doctor the other day and the woman there asked if I was his sister. I thought she must be blind to ignore all the white in my hair. Feel well soon!
Happy early birthday Beck!
Years and years ago, when I only had to two children, both girls and they were about 5 years and 2.5 years, my older daughter took a liking to wearing shoes with little heels on them. My younger daughter would mimic her parents and tell her sister, "Be careful in those shoes!" anytime she left the house. only in a yell. Pretty soon that became the normal goodbye phrase to anyone leaving, family or not. She would yell "be careful in those shoes!!" as her final word. It was adorable albeit confusing to our guests.
"Be careful in those shoes!" Beck.
;-)
If you start watching Wheel of Fortune daily, keeping the lights off to save money, and talking only of your recently diagnosed or deceased friends and relatives, I may start to worry about you, old girl!
I am 38 and last winter I got carded buying beer at the grocery store. It totally made my day, and made me forget about all the bad stuff. So, cheer up! You can ignore the wrinkles and the grey if everyone else can!!
Oh, Happy b-day.
You're so hilarious.
Happy early birthday!
I'm sorry but I'm LMAO.
The CBC ran a piece last night about how GPs are being innundated with seemingly healthy people coming in and demanding to be tested for liseteria. They are overwhelming the blood testing people. So, stay away from the dr., okay? The CBC said so.
I hope you're feeling better for your birthday. If not, I raise my NeoCitran to you and make a toast. to you, my younger, geriatric friend.
Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, protect your man parts, and investigate your poo...(just in case it might show some listeria-like signs.)
If I were rich I would buy you a crash helmet for your birthday! One like Starsky wore in Starsky and Hutch.
OH, and definitely what Janet said. One should ALWAYS listen to the CBC!
Happy Birthday!!!
And the other day, I was coming home from the store and I yelled at a preteen boy for yelling the F word up and down our block. I came inside and my husband asked "was that you yelling at someone about cussing?"
Yes, I am now old too. Only, I'm the old fart that usually sits inside and stews about the punks on my lawn. Unless they're cussing. Then - WATCH OUT! :)
Get better and party like a rock star. Or an old lady. Whatever floats your boat. :)
Yeah I tend to think I have (or one of my children has) the worst case scenario when they come down with some common ailment. Right now I'm thinking lung cancer since I've had this cough for some time (but then again it could be b/c this is "allergy season" and I have allergies)...
While recovering from a miserable cold more recently...I decided the only cure was to curl up onto my couch with boxes of tissues, my favorite feminine book, "The Pink Forest by Dana Dorfman, and my plaid fuzzy blanket. It really did help! (at least my mind, and emotions).
I think you're lying. You really don't look a day over 25. Seriously!
I scolded some kids for riding their bikes across my lawn. HA!
Happy Birthday, a little early!
Just so long as you don't get one of those "no squatting dog" signs for the lawn, OK? Because, in my opinion, those are grosser than the actual dog doo.
I really thought you were going to say that wearing heels to the bank made you feel better (it could. I can't remember the last time I actually felt feminine.) Did anyone come rushing over to help you up? never mind. bank employees rush nowhere.
Hope you are better for your birthday. 36 is a blip, baby.
Happy Birthday! You make me laugh. I practically tip over every day so I know how that feels.
Happy Birthday!
I'm so glad you didn't fall and break you hip on your 36th birthday. Otherwise, you'd steal all the fun for you 78th.
didn't you hear? 36 is the new 23. I'm pretty sure of it.
what about diptheria? No? ;p
Happy Birthday Beck
Hey, Happy Birthday :-D
What? You say you couldn't hear me? I said...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! ;-)
I hope you feel up to snuff on your big day... better lay off the heels till then.
Happy (early) birthday!
I hope you're feeling better. You made me feel better - laughter is the best medicine.
But the heel story, that one frightens me. Because I'm in a wedding in January, with a stupid strapless dress and heels...it's not going to be pretty.
You are young, young, young. A mere child. And gorgeous to boot!
No hip breakiing until you're at least 40.
You know, you're getting to the age where you really should start worrying about breaking a hip. How about wearing some black clunky orthopedic shoes instead?
Happy happy happy!
this post had me
lol
Oh sweetie, having a cold and wearing heels is definitely a recipe for teetering. What, with all the dizziness from congestion how could you possibly stay upright?!
I hope you feel better soon. Summer colds are awful.
You know, I forgot we share a birthday!
I've been a wet blanket all week and I'm not even sick. I hope you feel better...
I don't even know what listeria is.
You must still be young if you own a pair of teeny-tiny heels.
I'm a few years younger, and mostly only wear flip-flops. I've got to get a new pair of shoes. And I'll be careful at the bank.
Happy birthday1
Great. Now I need to get a lawn so that when I'm almost 36, I can yell at the little punks, too. Must get on that.
Happy early b'day to you!
Let's see...
36, 3 kids, married over a decade, and a little of a hypochondriac?
I can't identify with ANY OF THAT. Riiiiiiiiiiight.
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hl-vs/iyh-vsv/food-aliment/listeria-eng.php#mi
Here you go...some info on listeria : )
If your worried, apparently a blood test will let you know. I think I will have my kids tested to be sure. Early diagnosis and treatment with antibiotics is apparently a good thing. Also, I am hearing that most healthy people won't be bothered by it, and there are more than one loaction for the Maple Leaf plant, so depends on which plant the meat came from.
http://www.inspection.gc.ca/english/corpaffr/recarapp/recaltoce.shtml
A list of all recalled foods. Government page that gets updated with all food recalls : ) I have it as an icon on my desk top.
I think we just never knew about recalls before, we puked, we thought it was food poisoning and we moved on.
This one is a scary recall though, mostly for my kids!
Word has it from the Laundromat lady today that Health Inspector went in and told them not to serve meat or cheese either, the sliced ready made cheeses, for two or three weeks, and no cream cheese. hmmm odd. Yes they serve fresh sandwhiches (ham and cheese) and a few other things at this laundromat and even serve booze too! haha. City for ya!
You are TOO funny. Remember, 36 is young. And things like having 3 kids and having been married for over a decade - hell yah, that ROCKS. And saying "man parts" is actually extremely cool. I think it's very tongue-in-cheek hip. Sorry about the fall. I'm glad you didn't have to get out the walker this early in life.
I always tell Misterpie he's becoming a grumpy old man before his time. Me, it's the wrinkles and the reluctance to run around like a fool that tip me off to myself.
Ohmigosh, you just made me laugh out loud AND SNORT!
hahaha. I love it. Although, I am really glad that it didn't turn out to be listeria. Whew. I can see how close you came to catching it.
Thanks for linking today!
Post a Comment