As it happens, no, I did not want to talk with my child about her feelings. I knew quite well why she had done what she did and furthermore, I'm not all that concerned on a day-to-day basis about all of the little nuances of my children's feelings - I'm concerned about their BEHAVIOUR. The civilizing process demands that we learn to behave appropriately regardless of however much we may feel like smacking our younger brother in the head with a book for singing too loudly (just to use a "random" example.). Shame might not be a popular emotion, but it's a necessary one and the appropriate response for letting our feelings overwhelm us and spill over into hurting another person.
Middle-aged French author Corinne Maier is having her 15 minutes of notoriety right now for her book "No Kid", written, she said, after a particularly distressing day at the museum:
"And on the way back, the two of us thought that it would be nice to see an
exhibition on Belgian surrealists. Once inside the museum, the children began to
be awful." Laure said that the exhibition was "bullshit." Cecil began to scream,
so Yves took him outside. "And I started yelling at him for this: 'Why aren't
you more strong with him?' And we began to argue. We didn't see anything. And at
that point, I thought, 'I really regret it, I regret having children.' "
And how old are these two children? Are they 5 and 2? No, her delightful children are TEN AND THIRTEEN. Has anyone suggested to Mrs. Maier that she is a terrible mother and that her children are unbelievably spoiled brats and that motherhood is MUCH more enjoyable when some effort has been made to train up one's overindulged little monsters? Mais non - the fault lies within parenthood itself, apparently:
"Children are born to disappoint you," she says. "Because we dream about
wonderful children, but there are no wonderful children. They are people like me
and you, and they fail, they do things you don't expect, they dream of things
you don't even imagine, things that are pointless for you but not for them. So
of course they have to disappoint you. Most children are difficult."
My children, for the record, are wonderful children. They are delightful and smart and fun and loving and even with the occasional sibling spat they are absolutely charming company. I could cheerfully bring them, for example, to a museum exhibition with the full knowledge that they would behave to the very best of their abilities because I've raised them with love and boundaries and they do not want to disappoint me -and they also do not want the public embarrassment of behaving like HER children. Not one of them is difficult - but then, I am fully comfortable being the adult in the household and don't expect my children to meet MY emotional needs, unlike Corinne Maier, who apparently thought that she was going to have perfect versions of herself and then wrote this scathingly abusive diatribe when she found out that she had, in fact, little humans living in her house.
Yes, abusive. The journalist uses congratulatory language for Maier, lauding her for her "honesty" when her book is nothing more than a written tantrum by a spoiled, self-centered over-affluent woman, sulking that she can't spend as much time with her friends and that "A child will kill the fond memories of your childhood." "I thought it would be easier," she said. Oh boo freaking hoo, you big baby: parenthood is hard, children are flawed people and childbirth hurts. What a revolutionary revelation. And meanwhile, her poor children disappoint her again:
For the record, she has given copies of her book to both her children. Neither
has picked it up, or paid it any attention. "All they want to do is read Harry
Potter," she sighs.
Let's be frank: every mother has the occasional dark moment of wanting her life, her body back, wanting a certain kind of wild freedom that motherhood DOES put a full end to, and yet few of us go so far as to drown them in the lake, like Susan Smith, or to write a book urging other women never to have children because her own have just been so profoundly not worth it. I can well imagine what her kids are feeling right now, while their mother becomes famous for wishing away their very existence, the nihilistic and utter despair that must be causing those poor, neglected children - something which their mother despite all of her careful attention to her OWN feelings seems not to have considered at all. Shame on you, Corinne Maier.
78 comments:
Wow. Add that to the list of books I will never read. Just these few quotes made me feel ill. And she gave copies to her children?!
Wonderfully written post.
And thank you for all of your fun meme posts this week. I have added Festivals, Family, and Food to my wish list.
BRAVO!!! Maybe you could have your post published as a response to "Ms. Can't Stand to Have Children Who Are Just Like Me"s wonderful book. (Just a thought!)The world seems in a shortage of truly GOOD material these days (evidenced by NO KID). Seriously - who publishes these books?!?!
Train your children - what a novel concept. ;P What terrible expectations we mothers have when we expect our children to control their bodies DESPITE their feelings. Imagine that!
Amen and Amen!
And Amen some more!
You tell it sister!
I could not agree with you more. I was watching Oprah the other day (sorry, some over her, some hate her, I think she is dangerous from a Christian perspective but I do enjoy ocassionally opening up the issues so I know how the world is thinking).
Anyway, I was watching Oprah on overweigh children and they were interviewing a family that had 3 boys who did nothing but whine and actually CRY about not getting the trash they were used to eating.
My 16 yr old son was watching and he said, "We never did that!" And I said, "No you didn't." And he siad, "We'd have been grounded for life for that kind of behavior."
Again I say "AMEN!"
I have a friend who says the following,which I love:
"We know you love your kids. Discipline them so we can love them too."
i love you, beck.
for some reason lots of people simply don't discipline anymore. i know my kids aren't perfect and sometimes they act like naughty little imps. but even if their behavior is normal for their age it doesn't mean i can dismiss it. i refuse to throw my hands up and give up. maybe there will be a point where their behavior IS out of my control, but by god i am going to do my best to teach them how to behave. they deserve a parent who cares enough about them to discipling them when needed. know what i mean?
of course i care about their thoughts and feelings, but we don't get into in depth discussions about it while one has their teeth clamped on his sisters leg! i disciple first and discuss later.
i could go on and on about the discipline that went on in our house last night over grumbling about supper!
I haven't read this book. I haven't even heard of it but I am always uneasy when people publish such negative accounts of their children--accounts that their children will no doubt see.
This makes me hurt for her children. How awful would it feel to know your mother regretted you. Hmmm... Might even make you feel like you didn't really care how she wanted you to act. If she is dissapointed in how her children turned out, that is her own fault.
Well said. I'm all about boundaries. I think the problem these days is that too many parents are trying to be their kids friend, instead of being their parent. It's a slippery slope, because when they're young, you kind of have to be their "friend" too because they don't really play with others the way they do when they grow. I think it's important for parents to remember that their kids have loads of friends, and only one or two parents.
I agree that we need to set examples and limits for our children, but for me, it's very important to make sure that I clearly state that it is the behaviour I am unhappy with, and not the child. And to be fair to my 2 1/2 year old, often it is my expectations of her that need adjusting.
And yes, she is wonderful, and I can take her anywhere without worry.
I love how you're not afraid to just say what you think.
We are just getting to the age where we need to think about disclipline and boundaries and appropriate behaviour. It's a whole new dimension.
Amen! That was perfectly stated.
Maybe her children behave badly because they sense their mother's extreme regret at their even being born? I'm pretty sure if I thought my mother felt that way I wouldn't exactly be too keen on trying to please her.
For the record, my kids are VERY well behaved, sweet, thoughtful, and generally try very hard to please us, and they are all under 5! Perhaps she needs to look at her responsiblity in how her children turned out. For me, raising my kids is the biggest blessing I could ever imagine.
Oh my goodness - the passages you quoted just amaze me, particularly the last, where the author laments (rather pathetically) that her children prefer Harry Potter to her book. Does she honestly think that any child would prefer Harry Potter to a book lamenting their very existence? It seems she does.
Yikes.
You make an excellent point about discipline, and expecting good behavior from children, regardless of their feelings. We'd be in trouble, I think, if we let our feelings dictate our behavior...
And what totally adds icing on the cake to me is that people will actually buy said womans's book, making said spoiled, tantruming woman who internationally has insulted her children and who needs to take a deep look into her attitudes, lots of money and fame.
Applauding your stand, Beck. Parenting is work and committement and you got that across beautifully!
Wow, this is brilliant. (per usual)
Reading what she had written gave me this awful sinking feeling in my stomach. How can you say or think such things about your children, much less put it in print for the world to read?
I feel awful for her kids.
Amazing the kind of crap that gets published these days.
I know parents that go the "lets talk about your feelings" route and I am left feeling that their kids are diverted from understanding what they did wrong.
I feel very sorry for that author's children. I hope she has a lot of $$ for therapy for those poor children. Whether they read the book or not, I'm sure her message is loud and clear to them in their lives and that is very sad.
Who in the world takes a 10 and 13 year old to see an exhibit of Belgian surrealists? Okay, I'm almost 40 and LIKE art, but on a beautiful day where there were plenty of other things to be done, I would probably have the same reaction. This thing of parents taking their kids to places that just aren't kid-friendly or even interesting to children and then complaining when they misbehave drives me CRAZY.
i love your rants!
There is something wrong with that woman. Does she not love her children? I can't imagine she does if she is going to write publicly VERY hurtful things about them.
I am so grateful to you for writing this excellent piece, Beck. I read that article in the newspaper a couple of weeks ago, and was absolutely revolted by it, too.
Well done, and amen.
I can only hope that the author wrote under an alias so her kids are unaware that their mother's hatred of them has become so public.
Thank you. I really got up this morning and thought, I need a dose of Beck.
That woman sounds like an idiot.
Amazing that she would write a book like that and make it public! I would be too ashamed for my kids to see--how awful they must feel!
Belgian Surrealists? Really? Gah I'd have a hard time behaving through that and I'm 36! This woman's right up there with the "kids are boring" chick from last year.
People are weird. Honestly.. who didn't know parenting was hard before they signed up? Did she really have NO clue? As if... stupid woman. Would you ever take on a career before finding out what it was about? Would you marry someone without knowing about their flaws and challenges first?
Lets hope her children never truly disappoint her by throwing up a real challenge like terminal illness or (and let's face it this one is likely inevitable for this particular parent) drug abuse.
Wah wah wah..
And for the record when my children act naughty they're told they're being naughty and to change their behaviours .. we don't talk about feelings until AFTER the behaviour's been addressed.
Thing is, children are little humans, humans who will grow up and be able to write their own books. About mom. And I might actually read those.
How dare she do that to her children! Way to make them feel sorry for ever having been born, mom.
Boy - sign those kids up for therapy right now! You know, I can't imagine why a child of 10 or 13 would prefer to lose themselves in the magic of Harry Potter over reading that horrible woman that they have to LIVE with!
I'm going back to Hogwarts!
I read this a few weeks ago and had similar thoughts.
I love the "written tantrum" part - SO TRUE. No wonder her half grown children behave the way they do - they have a perfect example they are following.
Nice analysis, Beck.
This is the best response to this book I've seen yet!
My mother & I were talking last night and she told me an anecdote about an acquaintance who complained to her doctor at her 6 week checkup after having her first that things were so difficult. She couldn't go out with her friends like she used to.
Having children is not referred to as a "life changing event" for nothing! What do these people think they are getting into?
Oh, this just makes me so, so sad for her children...and for her. Imagine what their family dinners are going to be like 20 years from now, when her kids finally do get around to reading something other than Harry Potter (heaven forbid!).
Great post, Beck.
My friend has a frequent visitor at her house, a little girl who comes to play because she feels welcome. At home she can sense that her mother doesn't want her around.
Publishing such thoughts in a book just tells the rest of the world what your kids already know, intuitively. Why would they read it? They live it.
I have to confess that my 4 daughters were not always sweet and well-behaved and charming, and I know I was better at stimulation and creativity than boundaries and discipline. They were good at school when they showed up, but in retrospect, I permitted an ad hoc home schooling option for the bored who could cough convincingly. I recall my mom coming home from parent-teacher night and lamenting, "I wish these people I heard about lived in my house." We are very strict about their challenging themselves acdademically. Dropping out of honors or not taking advanced placement courses was out of the question.
I admit to sometimes feeling like the Frenchwomen did when they were four years old and teenagers, but I knew it was a passing emotion and I didn't write a book about it.
And now. at 34,32,28, and 25 they behave beautifully in public, but tend to regress when visiting home. One of the many wonderful things about sons-in-law is that they shame the girls to avoid the worst excesses of sibling rivalry at home.
I couldn't agree with you more. I feel so sorry for those kids.
Well, I won't be reading that one any time soon! She does indeed sound like an overgrown spoiled brat who never took the time to understand what becoming a parent would truly entail.
I hope her book doesn't sell. And I hope her children call her on it someday.
Yet another example (the primary one being Britney) of why you should have to have a license to have children.
Only half joking there.
Ms. Maier obviously doesn't consider herself to be the least bit responsible for her children's behavior.
Lucky her.
And I think I'd rather think that "remorse" or "regret" are what we're trying to instill in our kids, when we "shame" them for unacceptable behavior. But I know what you're getting at.
That was great.And depressing. And I am reading correctly that she also drew great attention for her book about avoiding working at work? Also setting an excellent example of ethics for her children(unless I read wrong and it was satirical). If having children breaks down a couple, why are they visiting a museum together, the report I saw called Yves the children's father.And they must have had sex at least once after the horror of parenthood took over.
I completely agree with teaching shame, it is not giving children low self esteem, it is causing them to accept that they are wrong, and that better is expected of them. To sit down and discuss a 2 or 3 year old's feelings may be difficult FOR THEM, they may not even be able to name what they are feeling. And it's unfair to raise them in an atmosphere where providing a justification for their actions can guarantee that they won't be punished, because the world doesn't work this way.( Well, you see officer, it was my turn to go to the checkout, and she cut in front of me, and it made me really mad so I went out and slashed her tires. Can I go now?).This author only proves that articulate, intelligent women can also suffer from extreme mental illness.I wonder how proud her mother is of her right now.Yves will have no problem getting custody of the kids.
In The Long Winter Laura rebukes Carrie for something minor with the words, "For shame!" (I think it might have been for some lapse of cheerfulness in the midst of starvation.) The phrase was memorable because it is such an old-fashioned concept, so unfamiliar now.
Wow, I'm in shock of what a self-centered turd that woman is.
It's not surprising that her children are a disappointment to her: she has set them up to be exactly that, with her own selfish attitudes and inability to love them just for being themselves. Yuck.
Poor kiddos.
I haven't heard of this, but by the sounds of it I won't be too fond of it!
You nailed it. It is SO much harder to teach them to be well mannered little citizens than to let them do what they want all the time. I am a firm believer that as a parent it is my responsibility to teach them how to be social people and what acceptable interaction is and more importantly what is not.
I am used the same expression or something similar, "you should be ashamed of yourself" I want them to understand that the remorse, the feeling bad about doing something intentionally wrong sucks. I want my girls to understand that feeling.
I think it is important to learn this know as opposed to as an adult.
Well shame on the relative for being nosy in the first place.
Wow, when I read the title of the book (No Kid), I was certain it was going to be from a childless woman who was saying that she is sick of being around kids. I am shocked that it is written by a mom, who then gives it to her kids?!?!
My kids are not perfect. They have their moments. I don't beat them into submission nor do I verbally abuse them. There are happy mediums though, between this and complete permissiveness (or my other pet peeve: hoping that they'll 'get' discipline in school, daycare, with the nanny, etc). You've gotta be the parent.
Beck, you never disappoint! Wow, what a great post. I'll probably link to it soon, as we're having a particularly rousing comment-war at my blog about this same issue. Training children.
Again, wonderful post.
Hell yeah.
My childrens behaviour is important to me as well. It is surprising how many people don't feel like it is worth the effort, or don't know where to begin, teaching appropriate behaviour.
Not surprising to me when the boomers pipe up with THE OPPOSITE of what they did.
Wow.. How had I missed that gem of literature? I mean, yeah, some days children ARE horrible, but it rarely lasts. You know what? Some days work is horrible, some days husbands are horrible, some days your wardrobe is horrible and refuses utterly to flatter your bloated PMS belly, and so on. God, who knew there was so much fodder for whiny literature in everyday life? And apparently someone will publish it?
I've heard about that woman. I can't imagine being so jaded as to think that my kids would be anything other than flawed. WHAT was she expecting??? I also can't imagine putting anything into print even on my BLOG, let alone into an internationally recognized BOOK that would hurt them!! And you can't tell me that they won't be in therapy in their later years, and their therapist will point the finger directly at the lady who couldn't put her foot down and decided to complain about it in a freakin book!!
I truly feel sorry for the kids, that they have to be subjected to this kind of publicity.
I think someone should book a spot on Oprah's couch for those two children. Somewhere along the line, discipline became a bad thing - it might hurt their psyche. It's when I see children like them, that I want to smack the parents not the kids. It's very selfish because not only are they ruining her visit to the museum but also everyone else around them.
I lose my temper sometimes. I say things that are too grown up to my four-year old. But I keep trying. I told my little girl that God gave her to me so I could help her grow up to be a good person and that it's my job. I believe that with all my heart.
Sometimes we can't worry about feelings. Sometimes we can only have them go sit on the steps.
Good post. Great take on this topic.
Alarm bells go off in my head when I hear a parent describe their child as "my best friend."
I feel so fortunate that I can have children in my life. Not to be my friends, but partake in this adventure. I could not agree more that I am concerned with my child's behaviour much more than feeling once the behaviour is no longer good. Shame is a feeling kids totally need to understand!
I would not hesitate to take my children to a museum (in fact I have recently) and they were wonderful. The older being three KNEW she had to be wonderful.
I have a friend that applauds our food choices, saying she could NEVER feed her kids THAT healthy (we are not all that great but I do try) ... I looked at her and said it is a Banana or she goes hungry. Her reply ... oh he would NEVER eat!
For real? Do they believe it? Cause I know my kid, she will eat the banana, eventually then happily eat the gold fish she truly wanted.
Parenting is hard. Anyone that thought it would be easy is a nut ball. But it is also fun, rewarding and joyful.
I am feeling my age. I am one of those permissive baby boomers whose example you don't want to follow. I fear that you might not have let your kids play with my kids. My kids were allowed to express their feelings endlessly. They rarely picked up their toys and their rooms were unspeakable. Talking back to parents was always acceptable. They were good at figuring out what they could say to grandma and what they could say to mommy. They never disgraced us at school.
No doubt I was rebelling against the discipline of my childhood. I transferred my first daughter to another public school because her teacher said "for shame" to her on the second day of kindergarten. When we moved to Maine, some neighbors didn't want their kids to play with those foul-mouthed Manhattan kids.
To quote my youngest daughter's college application essay: "We were never spanked or severely punished when we did something Mom disapproved of. Instead, she simply told us how she felt about it. I'm sure some parents would say that my sisters and I weren't disciplined enough. However, I've noticed that when friends of mine are grounded, they often complain about their unfair parents, but I take it very seriously when Mom tells me she's disappointed in me. "
We were strict about academics, safety, and seatbelts. There were no problems with boys, booze, or drugs. We were relatively poor, so we didn't buy them stuff. I sometimes went to far and let them behave in a way I found intolerable and then I yelled at them. But I still feel the way I raised them allowed them to be the creative, compassionate, dedicated women they are, able to own and use all their particular gifts. But they assure me they are going to be much stricter with their kids and make them clean up their room:) I suspect they will tell their kids it is okay to talk to grandma the way they talk to their parents.
This is why I love you. Well, one of the reasons.
This was my favorite line, "Oh boo freaking hoo, you big baby: parenthood is hard, children are flawed people and childbirth hurts. What a revolutionary revelation."
Genius. Pure genius.
I second that boo freaking hoo and basically everything else you write in that post. What a horrible thing to do to your kids. It's not like they had the choice to be raised by such a selfish woman.
Can you be my spokeswoman, please? I want to shout "AMEN!" while standing to my feet. You deserve a standing ovation!
Now, what is up with this: I feel like I'm the kid in the crowd saying, "The emperor is naked." Has everyone lost their MINDS? I cannot express to you the relief to find that SOMEONE out there (many someones, look at these comments!) who has some intelligence AND some sense to go along with it.
Thank you, thank you. You have restored my faith in humankind.
How horrible! I cannot believe that a mother could write such things, and worse, that she would then voluntary give such a book to her children! For shame is right!
I am so sad for her children, as well. And shocked. And horrified. I agree with you Beck--parenting is HARD--I have wished for more sleep, for a few moments silence, that my kids came with mute buttons, but never--NEVER, have I ever wished away any of it.
Brilliant post.
I see nothing wrong with what you said to your daughter, especially knowing what she did was deliberate. I'm sorry said relative felt she had a right to say anything to you.
How sad for that lady to feel she needed to write a book like that!
Bravo and Amen.
Beck, you're awesome. This is a great post and I really really enjoyed your meme's posts.
Well, obviously my children were born to disappoint that really scary author. Because, like yours, my children freaking ROCK. And they have never disappointed me in the way that she illustrates. Man, I really want to just punch her in the neck.
You rock. Shame on that freak of a lady. But you rock.
Yeah, huzzah for you Beck. You nailed it perfectly, and now my own distaste for this book is a little better explained ... to me. Very well said.
And yeah, feelings are great, but sometimes, it's about civilizing.
This got a lot of press a few months ago here in Italy. The reaction was different here though. Most people took it as tongue in cheek.
Veronica Mitchell - *Yes.* Excellent response.
I feel so conflicted about this one. See, I agree with you in a lot of ways. We have to be able to draw the line and not worry endlessly about our kids' feelings. Sometimes a "for shame" is okay.
But I have to say, I lived with "for shame" as a kid (not abuse, just really strict, authoritarian parenting) and I behaved beautifully. I did as I was told. I didn't talk back. But I snuck around a lot and I'm still learning to be myself without worrying about what others think.
And, even though I think I'm a pretty good parent most of the time, I have a kid who doesn't behave beautifully. He is a pain in the ass a lot of the time. Observing him, one might think I'm a horrible mom.
And then observing my other kid, you would think, "wow, she really must be doing something right." Because he is sweet and charming and a people pleaser.
It is a fine balance between clear discipline and allowing children to be who they are. And, too, I want to say this: you can't always judge the parenting by the kid. You just can't.
But great, thought provoking post.
"wanting a certain kind of wild freedom that motherhood DOES put a full end to"
Exactly! (You do have a great turn of phrase Beck.) But trade in my kids? Not in this lifetime or any other. They're the best company I could ever imagine, along with my husband of course. I also think shame is an underrated emotion these days. Shame about actually doing something unkind, not about who they are or what they may be thinking to themselves.
I am speechless and in awe! What kind of person can say those things about her own children? It makes me sick.
Great post! Why ARE parents these days so afraid of shame?
Sounds like a horrible book and it sounds like the author is getting what she deserves!
I don't know why I'm surprised when "others" come up to me in public and tell me how well behaved my kids are. I look around at my brood and wonder if they're talking about MY kids.
I know for me it seems I'm training them endless without being able to see the fruit, but it's there. Others see it if I can't.
I think because I have 4 kids who usually don't all behave properly AT THE SAME TIME, I only see the negative at the moment. Thanks for this post, it made me remember that my kids aren't as awful as I sometimes think they are and I'm not such a bad mom either.
Brilliant post! Love it!
Something's wrong with our publishing world, no doubt. An acquaintance of mine, a brilliant author who is, in my opinion, one of our great national parenting treasures, recently published a book on giving children too much.
She had a nearly impossible time getting it published, and she is already quite well published. Finally, a house with mostly childless female editors picked it up (God bless 'em) because (one of them told her), they were tired of putting up with other peoples' bratty children!
I forgot part of my post, had to redo. Sorry...I didn't mean to write a book. That Corrine Maier really made me mad!
Oh, man. So that's who those kids grew up to be--you know, the kids whose parents didn't care to spend enough time with them to teach them how they are expected to behave. The ones whose parents would buy them things to pacify them instead of being brave enough to risk their children's displeasure because they aren't getting what they want.
The control shifts from the child to the parent, then, and anarchy runs rampant. You've seen those kids on SuperNanny!
Parenting takes an incredible amount of time and energy, and when you're at your limit and you think you can't do one more thing, you still have to!
The hardest thing to do as a parent for me was to be consistent and follow through on the consequences I told my kids they would get if they did something they shouldn't have. I learned not to promise consequences I didn't want to actually enforce.
For example, I enjoyed buying my kids a little treat at the grocery store when we were done shopping. But I also told them when we started our shopping expedition that if they fought with each other, climbed on stuff they shouldn't, or were generally disruptive, I would not let them get a treat. Ouch.
That meant that at the end of our shopping trip, if they hadn't behaved, I COULD NOT buy them a treat. If I had, that would have been the end of my credibility, and they would never behave. Why should they, in that case? It would have been better (for me) to buy the treat, but have the consequence be that they couldn't have it until the next day, when the kids who behaved got theirs the same day.
Discipline should never be a parent's way of getting even. The actual meaning of discipline is not to inflict pain or exact revenge, but to teach. Good teachers are kind, but firm.
I definitely learned this one the hard way, but I can chuckle about it now.
I can't imagine writing about my kids the way this woman did. My kids are my best friends, now that they are older.
Why do people always expect their children to be like them? Or even to like them? It's so true..you reap what you sew.
I think if more people kept the idea in the back of their minds that their cute little babies have to be raised to be adults, life would be better.
And geez, if I had a dime for every book my kid rejected from me, I'd be...buying a new purse. Still.
You should be Corinne's mother.
That. Was. Excellent. OF course you said it much better than I.
Susan Smith, wow. Haven't thought about that name for awhile. I am from SC and that happened not very far from where I grew up. IT happened when I was young, but I remember being very much affected by it.
I really pity this woman. How much she has missed by not delighting in her children!
And THANK YOU for validating the truth that mothers have to be the adults in the household, and that children have to behave whether they feel like it or not. :)
Its true. They often have to be told whats what without us tippytoeing around protecting their feelings.
Great post. Loved it.
Very powerful. I SO agree with your statements on teaching our kids behavior that is acceptable..not giving too much consideration to how they feel about it. That comes later. This new era of trying to 'talk it through' with our children is ludicrous. Behaviour = consequence. Better they learn that now and talk about it later.
Great, great post Beck.
Wow, what a dreadful, dreadful sounding book. Her poor kids.
Three cheers for you, Beck!
Standing ovation and some hot coals on my head! I love it that you speak the truth so boldly and I hate it that there's still some of that self-centered mom in me who sees at her children as difficult. I have to slap my sinful self in the face and walk away from that ugly way of thinking. I'm the responsible party here! Thanks for the much needed convicting reminder that my children reflect...hello...ME! O, Lord help me!! For Your sake and theirs.
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